|
Friday, September 18, 2009
Getting BetterFinally feeling human again after a long 11 days. As many of you already know I had to have an unexpected
surgery last week. Thankfully I was able to have a laproscopic procedure, but I was still hurting most of last week
into the weekend. I am finally feeling more energetic and less tired today and hope that over the next week or so I'll
be able to start practicing again - gently, of course! This is the longest I've gone without practicing in quite some
time so I am feeling really different. Some old aches and pains that I haven't noticed in awhile have made their appearance.
What is interesting is that it is giving me a new perspective on my health and vitality without yoga in my life (or at least
without my asana practice). This time off the mat has given me a chance to reflect on my practice and how important
it is to my well being. Besides the aches and tightness in my physical body I've also noticed my temper flaring up more
than usual and my patience feeling tested more noticeably. After a challenging morning routine with my 5 year old daughter
yesterday she told my husband that I was acting like a "maniac"; this made me take a step back. I lost my
patience with her because she was being indecisive about choosing shoes for her outfit for school. Now, while I know
that we all lose our patience some of the time (with or without yoga in our lives) this made me feel sad. I don't want
my 5 year old daughter feeling bad before starting a long day at school - a school that she is just starting to adjust to.
While regretful of this and regretful of her feeling upset with me I realized that it was more about me feeling off balance
than feeling frustrated with her indecisiveness. She is after all a five year old child having a bad "shoe"
day... I would normally handle this situation better, but I am human and currently a human not fully practicing my yoga.
So, what I've been concentrating on today while in the studio is to step more fully, more clearly into this moment and use
this time to take inventory of any negative energy or feelings inside that may be bubbling up during this time of healing.
I am not normally a list person, but I'm going to make a list and keep adding to it so that when I am able to begin my
practice again; when my body is ready and my Dr. confirms that it is ready that I can focus on the positive
changes yoga makes inside and out. I was talking to a good friend yesterday about this - another yogini, and I
explained to her that I've felt good for so long because of my practice than I've forgotten what it feels like to feel
bad. This about sums it up. So, I will do my best to take advantage of this time so that I can better
relate to my new students just finding yoga and to all of the other non-yogis & yoginis in my life.
1:19 pm edt
|